Sex and Marriage Again

I left this comment a few minutes ago, but I think it deserves it’s own post. I’m still mulling over what the meaning of marriage is, and when it actually begins. Can it be separated from the legal ceremony? When is it initiated, at first sexual act? Only from a ceremony or cultural recognition? Is there some singular, overall way that God views marriage, regardless of culture? Anyways, here is the text of my comment:

I wonder how much cultural perceptions of marriage play into this topic. Is there one specific way that God recognizes a union of a man and a woman. Or are the various patterns and methods of all cultures equally relevant to Him? You make an interesting point, though I am not totally convinced.

The whole concept of marriage is still a bit clouded to me. When does God recognize that it is initiated? Is it possible to be married to someone without going through a legal ceremony? (I say yes)

If two teenagers have sex with each other, should they get legally married, since perhaps God views them as already united? If an engaged couple has sex before their wedding day, are they now married in God’s eyes, and just awaiting legal recognition on their wedding ceremony?

 

Sex and Marriage

Damian at the Castle of Nutshells blog continues to provide the most interesting rolling conversations about sex, engagement, and marriage. For this weekend, my wife and I have made plans to sit down together and read through his last few posts this week. His most recent post continues to apply his perspective of sex and marriage to our modern society, and I still find his stance very compelling. Here’s a quote from his latest post:

However, this understanding of sex and marriage (which endured well into the 1400s), cannot work in modern society unless modern society recognises that the secular, legal components of marriage are immaterial to the divine, sacramental components of marriage. That is: In God’s eyes, you are married, as soon as you sleep together. It is our responsibility not to anachronistically impose our 21st century institutions on 1st century and ancient Jewish texts, and to conform to God’s intentions in those texts, rather than our own institutions. It is our responsibility, therefore, to teach our youth commitment, that marriage is what sex means, and hence they do not dishonour God.

Basically, this view means that in God’s eyes, once you have sex with someone you are initiating marriage with them. This spiritual view is different from our modern ceremonial and legal perspective of things. I will post more about this later once my wife and I have had a chance to work through the posts and comments. You will have to dig back a few pages to read his older posts, but you can read Damian’s latest post which I’ve quoted from above at this link:

Sex is Not About Waiting